Grey Hair.

Why me?

Stated by Wikipedia...."It is clear due to lack of pigment. The clear hairs are seen as grey or white because of the way light hits it. Grey hair typically occurs naturally as people age"

Granted, every day I wake up I tend to age. In number, but not spirit, mind you. Some say stress causes grey hair, but I am not stressed. I mean, come one people. I have the blood pressure of a corpse, I am spoiled rotten and tend to never make plans b/c I can roll with the flow of things. Does that spell out stress to you? Okay. Spastic might be one of the words associated with KC and her life, but not stressed. Two totally different things in my mind.

Well, I got one. I got a damn grey hair and I want to return it, along with a copy of my birth certificate, to the pigment fairy. She can see that I am only 30 and I don't need my hair color to be altered.

Here's a little back story about this one ugly hair. After a great haircut, at ULTA in OKC if you need someone, I rush home to show it off to my hubby. So, we chat, eat dinner, watch TV, blah, blah and I decide to get ready for bed. I am twirling about because this was my first hair cut since May and I really needed it. I don't normally "Need" a cut b/c I don't damage my hair per say. For those of you who don't remember..... my hair is stick straight, board flat, lacking in body- however you opt to describe it.

Well, on this particular night the light hits my head just right and ALL BE A SUCK EGG MULE!! Grey hair alert! Grey hair freakin' ALERT! This can't be. I just strolled out of a beauticians chair. She just ran her hands all over my scalp and she seemed to miss this wire of a thing attached at the follicle. How could she not have known it was there? For crying out loud it stuck out: it had the texture of a Jack Russel's coat, it has a slight wave to it and some volume! Don't get me wrong- I have always wanted those last two attributes, but not if I have to fore sake my color!

In an attempt to get rid of this reminder of the death of my youth, I grabbed at it, tugged at it, wrapped it around my finger and yanked on it. I even enlisted the help of some tweezers. Twenty five minutes later, wish a slight glisten of sweat on my brow, I came out triumphantly with the thing off my head, in my hand.

Then I crawled into bed, clutching my stuffed kitty cat and quietly wept over being an old hag. End of story. Sad day in my world. Don't tell anyone, okay?!?!

Airhead

I am such an airhead. Let me give you some instances and let you decide. Most of these have happened within the past seven days!

An office on Main Street with a window is where you can find me five days a week. I have been here since the start of July. I just figured out that I am always touching my nose or picking at it somewhat and the people outside can see me. DURRR!

In an attempt to lay out a brochure, I had to google color wheels to figure out what colors match. This means I walk around every day wearing colors that might not match. In my head, most solid colors go together. Anyone want to refute me?

My grocery shopping always involves one large trip and one subsequent smaller trip because I don't right anything down. Like last night, I made a big trip and got home to see no milk left. So, guess I can go to Wal-Mart again today. Oh joy!

I encountered a "Right Lane Closed" sign on my way to the Royal. I signal and get in the proper lane. Well, wouldn't you know their right and my right were totally opposite. I got in the damn right hand lane thinking I was in the correct one! I about took out the orange barrels.

People who look at the pictures on my desk ask me why I don't have any pictures of my husband. I always tell them I have a wedding picture right here, only to find out that it doesn't contain Circle K. Who frames a wedding picture, minus the groom? This cat.

Speaking of husband, I got a request from Circle K to wash a load of his underwear when I get home. He will be sorting cattle late tonight and he needs them. I had to write myself a note to do it. I am the wife who has to take down a note to do laundry. Some call that horrible but I blame it on being an airhead.

As for what I wore yesterday, don't even bother asking. I diagnosed myself with short term memory loss years ago. To prove it, I got up from here, refilled my coffee, pottied and it took 15 minutes for me to remember I was doing this.

And on that note, I am going to spell check and get the heck off the Internet. I have two Words with Friends games to attempt to win!!!!

Thursday's Words....

I found these words on another blog I follow. The concept is to tell how one has used these words this week. Or to explain your week.... Let's roll.

And the words are..........
Happy
giddy
Joy
glee
thankful

I am happy it is finally Thursday, since I have been mistaken on the day of the week twice.

I get giddy by having a dinner guest and I had one last night.

Joy smells like a clean cow and I almost cry every time I work up a good lather. Takes me back to the showbarn.

I watched the Britney Spears episode of Glee recently and that show is ludicrous. Good singers, stupid concept.

The little brother is getting a scholarship and I am thankful for the people who sponsored it! Congrats Brother:)

BUGS!!!

Ants to be specific. They are crawling all over our office. They have came in hordes, droves, herds or whatever the congregate in. I have them marching upon my desk, sending shivers up my spine.

Mind you, I am not afraid of them. I am creeped out by them. As of right now, I feel like one is in my nose. I have picked at my nose, with the assistance of a tissue, on four separate occasions never remember I am in a storefront window. Wonder if the bar full of patrons across the street are posting videos of me digging on YouTube. Oh well. I know it is irrational to think there is an ant marching in my nose, but I do.

I also feel like they are crawling up my leg, which I have had them do before. I may or may not have drug my leg through a fire ant hill in Colorado. The only funny part about it, once I administered the proper amount of drugs for my swelling to skin ration, was that I tossed Brat about on the back of the flatbed truck. Only consolation, I tell you.

My life is also consumed by crickets. Can anyone tell me why they are seeking refuge in my office and are using my house as a morgue? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone? Okay. Nope. I am sure I am not the only one dealing, since it is fall, but am I the only one going nuts?

So, in an attempt to giggle at my own neurosis, I leave you with this video. Happy Hump day world. I am off to kill more ants with Windex!!

Miscellany Monday

Tada.... it is really Monday. And now I am realizing I only blog on days when I can put a whole laundry list of crap for you to indulge your boredom. Oh well. Read on......

1) I was never in love with television shows before we got a DVR. I didn't want it, directv gave it to me for free and now my world semi-revolves around it. Makes my fall go faster. Once the weekends weather sucks and my husband is MIA, I can watch whatever I want, whenever.

2) The word nunnery isn't the actual place you go to become a nun. I can never come up with the actual word convent when I need to, but I did just hear it used by someone. Guess I am not the only one who makes up their own words.

3) My weekend was pretty stellar and I wonder who wouldn't want to be me. Ask me that yesterday and I would have said I felt like warmed over death and I hated myself. Amazing how your perspective changes a day after being totally hung over:)

4) I all ready have part of my outfit picked out to tailgate in at the O-state game I get to attend in Manhattan, Kansas. And, if the days don't go faster than today, I might have signs made! Boring Monday.

5) If you haven't read "Love Story" by Erich Segal, circa 1970, go to barnesandnoble.com and buy it now. Don't delay. Total classic and an amazing piece.

6) I want a superpower. End of the story.

7) I would like to put the band Sugarland into a capsule and shoot them into space. I am over them, I hope I never have to hear them again. Again, end of story.....

8) The whole idea of this is to go to 10, but I can't come up with anything else. I bored myself and now I am done. Have a great one!

Miscellany Monday on Tuesday

Do this with me, people. Five random Monday facts... minus me being a day late. Thank you Christoper Columbus, who sailed the ocean blue in 1492. When you are older, I will tell you the rest of the song.

1) Since I would be spending my day on the block Saturday, I opted to hit my nasal allergy spray. My tongue is still numb but I seem to be alive. That stuff is potent and I hate medicine, but it sure helps me for days on end. I noticed the ring wasn't the most pristine and moist, so I knew it would be a good option. My eyes were caked with dust and boy oh boy did I have a bag of shavings lodged in my snout. BUT, I didn't sneeze!

2) My weekend consisted of cleaning, making necklaces and reading. I read two books:) Call me what you want, but it isn't like I am reading books that will enhance my chances of becoming president or winning a Noble Prize, so don't get scared. They are simple mindless drivel that makes me yearn for a vacation and declare I need romance in my life. Back to reality, I made a roast and watered my flowers.

3) Karma is a bitch, even in foreign languages, and I think one of the Chilean coalminers figured that out the hard way...... when his wife AND girlfriend stopped by the site for a visit at the SAME time. I giggle. I also live my life in a way that this won't happen. I will never become a coal miner for a number of reasons, college degree and living in Oklahoma are two that run off the top of my head. And, I like to think that there are some of us out there that got damn lucky and married a badda$$ like I did, so they don't have to do that. Laugh your butt of here.

4) I lost 10 years from my life Saturday night and it went something like this. Drove like a bad out of hell to get home in decent time from Texas in case a package arrived. To my dismay, it didn't so I entered my house, began opening windows and turned on the TV. It greeted me with the loudest program ever and I didn't really know why. (Still don't) I start to wonder why it might be that loud while wondering into the bedroom only to find the dish box power was on. I NEVER do that and as I open the window I attempt to tell myself I am not about to be abducted. Well, wouldn't you know about the time I get into the living the power goes out... no warning, no flickering and no tell who is about to rip my guts out with a butcher knife and steal all my worldly possessions. As I start shaking and walking toward a candle, I can't help but put my back to a wall. I do this the whole way to the knife drawer, to the phone and to the kitchen. I then call in the outage, relieved that I don't have to speak so the potential murderers can't pinpoint my location.
The next thing I know, I hear a car stop and I hear voices. This propelled me right on over the edge of lunacy. I grabbed a cold beer, lit more candles while shaking as my dad would say "like a dog shitting razor blades, and cuddled with my large, large knife. As it runs through my head that one door isn't locked and my killer is coming for me from the outside, I opt to face them head on...... only after attempting to turn on my Scentsy burner five times. FYI- they are worthless in a power outage:) I mark outside, cell phone, beer and knife in hand, and decide if I am going to die I am going to do it outside so my carpet stays clean and Chisolm would have a higher chance of selling the property.
Well, come to find out there was a power surge 10 minutes before I got home b/c a wreck hit the power lines or something. The whole 'hood was without power and I almost dropped the giant knife on my toes. And, as you can tell I am alive and well to blog about it. Thanks for your concern.

5) I kept a plant alive in a basement for over a year. Two weeks in the sunlight and it is almost dead. Steller Keffer, Steller.

Snapshot of my desk

So, I have this new job and a window. Notice the amazing glow of sunlight?! You don't even understand how excited I am to have sunshine. No more basement dwelling, troll felling for this lady. I got bored and took a picture of my cleaned off desk... yes. This is better than most days!

Let me take you on a tour:
On the left you have my phone, recently Cloroxed and covered in phone numbers. No one has ever accused me of being rainman and even after three months on the job, I haven't the slightest clue what our number is or what my bosses cell is.

Please direct your attention to the mass amounts of fluids. I stopped drinking pop months and months ago (imagine me patting my own back:) and that is an unsweet tea and a bottle of water. The other cup is coffee. I like my coffee like I like my men. Strong and unadulterated. Anywho, I think my coworkers are trying to off me b/c coffee is in a pot round the clock. My hair will twitch on some days and others I am running around like a rat on acid. No bueno.

Welcome to a tour of my lunch. I was 15 minutes late and opted to eat at my desk. Plowing slowly but surely through a chef salad. I love me some veggies. And, I don't' mind getting my lost time back while dorking around in the office. What can I say. I will be late for my own funeral as I was for my birth.

Burning candle to cover the old building smell. I have come to enjoy the smell. Now the smell of the cat and dog dung outside the back door I don't enjoy. I don't like when cat poop smell wafts into my delicate nostrils. Cow poop, total other situation.

In this image you can only see one of the three computer screens I am using today. Double screens for my desktop edition from the office. I have seen turtles mate faster than this thing can load things. Craig.... if you are reading this we NEED a network to back up stuff on:) Alas, I hope you aren't reading this! I am using my laptop to manipulate video. I concurred a problem today that had plagued me for two days. I did a little victory dance, only after I took notes on how in the hell I did it. That is typical me. Fix it and not be able to remember what I did to win.

Pink envelope, middle of the computer screen. Susan Koman donation envelope. Get one, write a check and support the movement to save the TaTas! Run, don't walk to find something to buy, an organization supporting breast cancer research or a person taking donations for the Race for the Cure. I know you can.

The end.