Miscellany Monday on Tuesday

Do this with me, people. Five random Monday facts... minus me being a day late. Thank you Christoper Columbus, who sailed the ocean blue in 1492. When you are older, I will tell you the rest of the song.

1) Since I would be spending my day on the block Saturday, I opted to hit my nasal allergy spray. My tongue is still numb but I seem to be alive. That stuff is potent and I hate medicine, but it sure helps me for days on end. I noticed the ring wasn't the most pristine and moist, so I knew it would be a good option. My eyes were caked with dust and boy oh boy did I have a bag of shavings lodged in my snout. BUT, I didn't sneeze!

2) My weekend consisted of cleaning, making necklaces and reading. I read two books:) Call me what you want, but it isn't like I am reading books that will enhance my chances of becoming president or winning a Noble Prize, so don't get scared. They are simple mindless drivel that makes me yearn for a vacation and declare I need romance in my life. Back to reality, I made a roast and watered my flowers.

3) Karma is a bitch, even in foreign languages, and I think one of the Chilean coalminers figured that out the hard way...... when his wife AND girlfriend stopped by the site for a visit at the SAME time. I giggle. I also live my life in a way that this won't happen. I will never become a coal miner for a number of reasons, college degree and living in Oklahoma are two that run off the top of my head. And, I like to think that there are some of us out there that got damn lucky and married a badda$$ like I did, so they don't have to do that. Laugh your butt of here.

4) I lost 10 years from my life Saturday night and it went something like this. Drove like a bad out of hell to get home in decent time from Texas in case a package arrived. To my dismay, it didn't so I entered my house, began opening windows and turned on the TV. It greeted me with the loudest program ever and I didn't really know why. (Still don't) I start to wonder why it might be that loud while wondering into the bedroom only to find the dish box power was on. I NEVER do that and as I open the window I attempt to tell myself I am not about to be abducted. Well, wouldn't you know about the time I get into the living the power goes out... no warning, no flickering and no tell who is about to rip my guts out with a butcher knife and steal all my worldly possessions. As I start shaking and walking toward a candle, I can't help but put my back to a wall. I do this the whole way to the knife drawer, to the phone and to the kitchen. I then call in the outage, relieved that I don't have to speak so the potential murderers can't pinpoint my location.
The next thing I know, I hear a car stop and I hear voices. This propelled me right on over the edge of lunacy. I grabbed a cold beer, lit more candles while shaking as my dad would say "like a dog shitting razor blades, and cuddled with my large, large knife. As it runs through my head that one door isn't locked and my killer is coming for me from the outside, I opt to face them head on...... only after attempting to turn on my Scentsy burner five times. FYI- they are worthless in a power outage:) I mark outside, cell phone, beer and knife in hand, and decide if I am going to die I am going to do it outside so my carpet stays clean and Chisolm would have a higher chance of selling the property.
Well, come to find out there was a power surge 10 minutes before I got home b/c a wreck hit the power lines or something. The whole 'hood was without power and I almost dropped the giant knife on my toes. And, as you can tell I am alive and well to blog about it. Thanks for your concern.

5) I kept a plant alive in a basement for over a year. Two weeks in the sunlight and it is almost dead. Steller Keffer, Steller.