If you check FB, you might have seen my silly status about Playboy's and Scotch. Well, I really am worried about a few things as we try to sell our house. When we looked at it, the occupants didn't have much in it. I have "decluttered" and paired it down a ton; excessive picture frames have been put in the attic, candles are in a closet, jewelry creation equipment successfully stowed. I don't feel like anyone lives there, but we are still more in your face than they were.
As I was reading a book on a lazy Sunday morning, I got a call from our realtor that someone wanted to look at the house that evening. Motivated to clean up, I put down the book and picked up the duster. I haven't cooked or done anything in the house since we listed it. I don't want to have to clean up again, makes sense. Case in point- the one time I made my bed in HS was when Kimberly Yoeman was coming to spend the night. I ended up sleeping on the floor so I wouldn't have to remake the bed before school. Serious. I can live on PB&J until the house sells, deal with it.
In the midst of cleaning, I wondered how deep those people look. I know we checked out the cabinet space and the realtor showed us the great pots and pans cabinet. (they slide in and out in case you are in the market for a house;) I was just hustling and bustling around until I got the mail. It was Playboy time! I got a new Playboy! Before you start judging, let me tell you that I have had a subscription to Playboy for years. It is the only magazine I continue to subscribe to. I used to get Maxim and Bender, too, but can live without them. I actually read and look at all the stuff in a Playboy. I am not a prude nor do I believe that my man will only look at me and my body without checking out another chick. Heck, I check out other men! SO, it would be a total double standard. Therefore, once a month our mailperson drops off the plastic wrapped package and I tote the mail in.
Well, now that our house is on the market I wonder if light weight porn and booze will turn potential buyers off. I am going to admit that we have the magazines in the guest bathroom and master bathroom. We like to make sure out guests at the Kinder Bed without Breakfast feel at home:) BUAAHAHA. We also had a collection of "Chisolm Chosen Classics" in the office closet, but I did stow them away in my declutter. Didn't want them blinding the people. This weekend, we even had one in the kitchen junk drawer.
Our booze collection isn't huge, but it sure is pretty. Do some people not like booze at all? How can that be? Not that they have to indulge in it, but tolerate it I guess. Just like women who think their man will never look at another naked body, blah, blah. Blow it out your ass. Let them look. Hell, take a look to motivate you. I want to pose in Playboy. Would love to be asked. Would love to get motivated to workout enough to show my natural breasts to the world. I think my husband would be okay with that. My father, not so much. Well, and Colty might get a little upset:) heehee.
As I drove off, I second guessed my life choices in a way. Will these people just not like our house, which is hard to stomach, or will they stumble upon our sins and not like us? What do you think the case is?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
What a week so far
Can this one be in the books yet?! Blah.
So, I just got back from a last minute trip home. I forget how pretty Indiana is in the spring. The lush grass you can actually walk barefoot in is something not lost on this Oklahoma transplant. My yard currently feels like you are walking on broken glass. Not cool at all.
My trip consisted of visiting my paternal grandfather in the hospital. For me, a slight germiphob, this was a huge step. I don't handle stress well nor do I like places where people are ill. So, for the most part, I used my elbows to push any buttons, utilized insanely unsafe amounts of hand sanitizer and never touched doors or chairs. I even Clorox wiped my cell phone:)
From the second I stepped into Grandpa's room, I was taken aback. Here was this fixture in my life laying there. He was totally sound of mind, but his damn body was betraying him by going downhill and fast. I wasn't prepared, no matter who I talked to. His lack of voice stung me, his struggle to make words b/c of his coughing problem caused by a long battle with pneumonia. Don't get me started on the quack doctors in Crawford-tucky, Indiana. His mere mention to my dad along the lines of "what else can go wrong" had tears in my eyes. I did okay the rest of the time. We all sat around, chatted, tried to let him sleep and low and behold he would pipe up to answer a question none of us had the answer to. Amazing. Once he felt up to watching television, he let me get a few questions right on Jeopardy!
This was the first year I spent Mother's Day at home. I can't say with my mom b/c she had to work and we went to Indy, but I was home. I gave mom a flat of impatients, which she has to plant, b/c she is the queen of red impatients. She can get them to grow in nearly nothing. I, on the other hand, can't grow them in pots. Trying again this summer, but won't hold my breathe. She made her famous spaghetti and some brownies. Life's grand for Terri, isn't it.... cook and bake on your holiday! She is such a great sport, however, and we bloated ourselves. No canned spaghetti sauce in the Keffer house. No thank you!!
I also got to see April, my bff. Her BP is high and now she is on meds. I gave her the mother lecture about fruits and veggies. There isn't a single 31-year-old that needs to be on BP meds. If you are, get off your ass, pick up some fresh food and deal with it. Fix yourself b/c I don't want to lose you, okay?
Our house is on the market and we got one look so far. One in a week isn't bad. I have to keep my spirits up b/c they weren't interested in the end. Going to be hard to hear people say they don't like your house! Good thing we aren't on some sort of TV show where we hear the feedback straight from the horses mouth. I hope I don't get my hopes up b/c I am the type of person to jump from one thing to the next and start dreaming big while still stuck in the mud of the present. As if you couldn't tell that by this rambling blog you read from time to time.
So, the rest of the week looks dismal too. Minus the great rain Oklahoma recieved, I think I will just chalk it up to the Gods of all things blah and deal with it like a big girl. I will continue to call for reports on grandpa, I will make the bed and pick up after myself in hopes that someone will look at the house and see it like I do, and I will tuck myself in bed as soon as the garage door is down.
Have a great evening y'all. I am tapping out for the day!
So, I just got back from a last minute trip home. I forget how pretty Indiana is in the spring. The lush grass you can actually walk barefoot in is something not lost on this Oklahoma transplant. My yard currently feels like you are walking on broken glass. Not cool at all.
My trip consisted of visiting my paternal grandfather in the hospital. For me, a slight germiphob, this was a huge step. I don't handle stress well nor do I like places where people are ill. So, for the most part, I used my elbows to push any buttons, utilized insanely unsafe amounts of hand sanitizer and never touched doors or chairs. I even Clorox wiped my cell phone:)
From the second I stepped into Grandpa's room, I was taken aback. Here was this fixture in my life laying there. He was totally sound of mind, but his damn body was betraying him by going downhill and fast. I wasn't prepared, no matter who I talked to. His lack of voice stung me, his struggle to make words b/c of his coughing problem caused by a long battle with pneumonia. Don't get me started on the quack doctors in Crawford-tucky, Indiana. His mere mention to my dad along the lines of "what else can go wrong" had tears in my eyes. I did okay the rest of the time. We all sat around, chatted, tried to let him sleep and low and behold he would pipe up to answer a question none of us had the answer to. Amazing. Once he felt up to watching television, he let me get a few questions right on Jeopardy!
This was the first year I spent Mother's Day at home. I can't say with my mom b/c she had to work and we went to Indy, but I was home. I gave mom a flat of impatients, which she has to plant, b/c she is the queen of red impatients. She can get them to grow in nearly nothing. I, on the other hand, can't grow them in pots. Trying again this summer, but won't hold my breathe. She made her famous spaghetti and some brownies. Life's grand for Terri, isn't it.... cook and bake on your holiday! She is such a great sport, however, and we bloated ourselves. No canned spaghetti sauce in the Keffer house. No thank you!!
I also got to see April, my bff. Her BP is high and now she is on meds. I gave her the mother lecture about fruits and veggies. There isn't a single 31-year-old that needs to be on BP meds. If you are, get off your ass, pick up some fresh food and deal with it. Fix yourself b/c I don't want to lose you, okay?
Our house is on the market and we got one look so far. One in a week isn't bad. I have to keep my spirits up b/c they weren't interested in the end. Going to be hard to hear people say they don't like your house! Good thing we aren't on some sort of TV show where we hear the feedback straight from the horses mouth. I hope I don't get my hopes up b/c I am the type of person to jump from one thing to the next and start dreaming big while still stuck in the mud of the present. As if you couldn't tell that by this rambling blog you read from time to time.
So, the rest of the week looks dismal too. Minus the great rain Oklahoma recieved, I think I will just chalk it up to the Gods of all things blah and deal with it like a big girl. I will continue to call for reports on grandpa, I will make the bed and pick up after myself in hopes that someone will look at the house and see it like I do, and I will tuck myself in bed as soon as the garage door is down.
Have a great evening y'all. I am tapping out for the day!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
My office
Let me preface this blog by saying: I love my job. I honestly do. This office, these people, this job saved me from jumping off the building that housed the basement that contained the Oklahoma Wheat Commission. It was a morgue: it was completely silent, with slight humming of random electronics, no light filtered in as the douchetards in leadership gave up an office with windows to cause everyone to trudge down stairs to the basement. And it smelled of human excrement. More or less the sewer would back up and stink up the kitchen in which we created cinnamon rolls and whole wheat bread. Sanitary and sweet smelling!
So here I set in the window of 440 W. Main in Yukon, sometimes forgetting that I am in a store front and folks can see me. I am slowly learning to stop picking my nose and I don't eat every meal at my keyboard. Don't want the bar rats across the street to be able to judge me as I do them.... and somewhat envy, but that is a whole other can of worms.
However, here in Yukon, here in this office, I am a good 25 years younger than the two residents that I occupy this space with on a daily basis. They do a great job figuring out the Internet, e-mail and other technology like creations. However, since I can start up a computer without scratching my head, I am now in charge of the IT department. That, my friends and followers, isn't cool. I crash my iPhone rather handily and the guts of a computer baffle and bewilder me.
For instance, they believe in me enough to figure out why an e-mail won't go through. Never mind the response they received stating that the users e-mail is full. Nothing I can do folks. Pick up the phone and inform the gentleman. It isn't our doing.... sheesh.
Or right this second...... A fax price list has somehow been misplaced, either by the patriarch of the company or someone else. Not me. My paws weren't on it. After I give them the lowdown on what Priefert is, we scour the office as a team, me the only one without a mullet or grey hair, BTW. It is not here, vanished, adios. My suggestion is ask the boss with whom he spoke to to get said price list. Play it off like we are looking for that specific name on the document, then call that person, request a resend. Nope. We are going to print a list, get their fax number and send an "SOS, please call us." fax to them. Speak up if you think this will work... (Insert crickets chirping here)
Another instance is when they ask me... the Hoosier... if there are such and such towns in Oklahoma. Just now I heard "KC, is there a Union and Union City, Oklahoma?" To which I have to inform them I will Google it in an instant. Do I look like Rand McNally folks? In my seven years down here, I have done a bit of traveling, but I haven't made it my quest to memorize the towns in this state. For crying out loud, there is a Pink, Oklahoma! PS- they get hit by naders all the time, don't move there. The Google thing is beyond them. Now don't get me wrong, I can still use a map. It is more to the fact of finding the damn thing in this overstuffed office. Purging isn't in their nature. We should be on the show Hoarders: Office version. Fo Sho!
I could go on, but that is all I can deal with right now. My blood pressure is rising, from my corpse like state to a higher version.
PS- my grandpa is in the hospital and I feel useless. If only I didn't have some Podunk Limmy sale to work this weekend I would trek home. Damn Limmy's! Anyone with the skills to run a live auction want to cover for me? It would be a rewarding experience. Well, no takers. I will shut my trap and do it. Earning a dollar should make him proud.
Thanks for reading. I am a bore these days. Entertain me back, folks.
So here I set in the window of 440 W. Main in Yukon, sometimes forgetting that I am in a store front and folks can see me. I am slowly learning to stop picking my nose and I don't eat every meal at my keyboard. Don't want the bar rats across the street to be able to judge me as I do them.... and somewhat envy, but that is a whole other can of worms.
However, here in Yukon, here in this office, I am a good 25 years younger than the two residents that I occupy this space with on a daily basis. They do a great job figuring out the Internet, e-mail and other technology like creations. However, since I can start up a computer without scratching my head, I am now in charge of the IT department. That, my friends and followers, isn't cool. I crash my iPhone rather handily and the guts of a computer baffle and bewilder me.
For instance, they believe in me enough to figure out why an e-mail won't go through. Never mind the response they received stating that the users e-mail is full. Nothing I can do folks. Pick up the phone and inform the gentleman. It isn't our doing.... sheesh.
Or right this second...... A fax price list has somehow been misplaced, either by the patriarch of the company or someone else. Not me. My paws weren't on it. After I give them the lowdown on what Priefert is, we scour the office as a team, me the only one without a mullet or grey hair, BTW. It is not here, vanished, adios. My suggestion is ask the boss with whom he spoke to to get said price list. Play it off like we are looking for that specific name on the document, then call that person, request a resend. Nope. We are going to print a list, get their fax number and send an "SOS, please call us." fax to them. Speak up if you think this will work... (Insert crickets chirping here)
Another instance is when they ask me... the Hoosier... if there are such and such towns in Oklahoma. Just now I heard "KC, is there a Union and Union City, Oklahoma?" To which I have to inform them I will Google it in an instant. Do I look like Rand McNally folks? In my seven years down here, I have done a bit of traveling, but I haven't made it my quest to memorize the towns in this state. For crying out loud, there is a Pink, Oklahoma! PS- they get hit by naders all the time, don't move there. The Google thing is beyond them. Now don't get me wrong, I can still use a map. It is more to the fact of finding the damn thing in this overstuffed office. Purging isn't in their nature. We should be on the show Hoarders: Office version. Fo Sho!
I could go on, but that is all I can deal with right now. My blood pressure is rising, from my corpse like state to a higher version.
PS- my grandpa is in the hospital and I feel useless. If only I didn't have some Podunk Limmy sale to work this weekend I would trek home. Damn Limmy's! Anyone with the skills to run a live auction want to cover for me? It would be a rewarding experience. Well, no takers. I will shut my trap and do it. Earning a dollar should make him proud.
Thanks for reading. I am a bore these days. Entertain me back, folks.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Miscellany Monday
1) The President came on my television last night. The shear sight of him pisses me off and his teleprompter reading ass gives me the willy's. But, he was on to report about Bin Laden, whom I slipped and called Obama, not Osama. HEEHEE. My only thought on this was- I just need the recap, I don't need the Pres telling me what our armed forces did and taking credit for it. End of that. God Bless America and thank you for the depths of my heart Troops and everyone who risks it all so I can be a slob at a desk!
2) My heater is on. Welcome to May in Oklahoma. We are to get a frost tonight. Lovely. Just planted my flowers this weekend... wonder if they will live. I am having a hard time with flowers this go round. Hope my green thumb isn't turning yellow.
3) Saturday was spent de-cluttering my home so we can "stage" it for pictures as my hubby has decided to put it on the market. So, if you know of anyone in the market for a cute starter home North of Edmond, Okla. we are your hook-up. 1400+/- ft', two car garage on an acre. Call me!
4) I am very proud of my friends, btw. A couple are taking new jobs, moving and conquering the world. A couple are sticking it out in the cold great North and dealing just fine. And, a couple are raising some great kiddos while working to support their family. I love them. I have great taste in people:)
5) What is the limit of re-uses on 44-ounce Sonic cups? I have been using this one for almost a week. I put ice in it since we have only lukewarm water here. Is this safe? Someone chime in.
Thanks for reading and helping me sell my house:)
Peace out!
KCK
2) My heater is on. Welcome to May in Oklahoma. We are to get a frost tonight. Lovely. Just planted my flowers this weekend... wonder if they will live. I am having a hard time with flowers this go round. Hope my green thumb isn't turning yellow.
3) Saturday was spent de-cluttering my home so we can "stage" it for pictures as my hubby has decided to put it on the market. So, if you know of anyone in the market for a cute starter home North of Edmond, Okla. we are your hook-up. 1400+/- ft', two car garage on an acre. Call me!
4) I am very proud of my friends, btw. A couple are taking new jobs, moving and conquering the world. A couple are sticking it out in the cold great North and dealing just fine. And, a couple are raising some great kiddos while working to support their family. I love them. I have great taste in people:)
5) What is the limit of re-uses on 44-ounce Sonic cups? I have been using this one for almost a week. I put ice in it since we have only lukewarm water here. Is this safe? Someone chime in.
Thanks for reading and helping me sell my house:)
Peace out!
KCK
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