This weekend I was informed that a few of my actions are politically incorrect. Wow. Thank you lady who barely knows me for your wisdom. Well come to find out, I guess I am. Oh let me count the ways.
So, yes, I may drink beer out of a bottle at a very expensive Prime restauraunt. Much to the dismay of they waiter who dutifully brings me a nice cold glass or suggests a glass of red wine. Nope. Not doing it. But, I will order a steak and eat it all:)
I burp. Loudly. I enjoy it, think of it as a hobby and do it, sometimes, in public. Sorry for partying. My bad.
If you cross my loved ones, I will let you know. Not a bad thing, but not one that many people stick to. Gossip about my friends, I will set you straight. Lie to me, I will catch you.
I curse like a sailor, and in front of my kids. Might not be my proudest moment, but look at my brother and I... we have jobs. We are still alive. We cursed. I should stop that one now, I will admit.
My bird finger goes off alot. That is an action almost as important to me daily as breathing. I do it in the car, to my computer screen, in public.
Working makes me happy. Being a total stay at home mom would make me go postal or run away. I am not scared to tell anyone that. It works for me. Staying with your bambino's might make you happy, seeing butterflies, all teddy bears and shit. Not me. I like seeing my name on a paycheck.
I don't know much about religion. I won't speak about it. That or politics. Guess you don't want to take me to a political fundraiser unless you are looking for a laugh.
Our mailbox is blessed with a Playboy a month, with my name on it. Why, you ask? Because I pay for it. I want to be in it. I believe a naked woman is amazing and we should show it off. Now, when I have to grab a calculator and do math on the ages of these centerfolds, I feel like they will never give me a chance to be in there.
Ask me about my kids, I will tell you.... My boytoy is the most beautiful man in the world and my daughter is the funniest, prettiest blue eyed babe in the nation. Don't expect me to not let you know when you show me a picture of your kid. That is the cross us mother's bear.
I wear ballcaps and yoga pants to the grocery. You know why? Because I have written an article, sold stuff and still read my kids books and rolled around on the floor with them. I didn't find it necassary to get all pimped out in my Mary Kay to accomplish that before I paid for groceries.
I would rather hang with the guys. They are less drama and think more of women than we give them credit. So what. If you are with a bunch of women hating men, distance yourself.
Another way I am politically incorrect, or so I was told..... I simply don't give a shit. No, I guess I don't. I will work, earn my money, be a mom, wife and daughter and stand up to anyone who tries to harm anyone in my life. No biggie.
Basically, what I am saying is, I will own up to all of that. I don't care because if you don't like it oh well. I love myself. And that is something that is becoming harder for women to do. I am not sure why, but it is. Is it TV and movies? Is it magazines? No, it is us. I love who I am and I don't give a damn who doesn't like it. If you don't, take a walk. I have been here for damn near 33 years, seen things, done stuff and regret some of it. But that is the perfect equation for loving myself enough to know that being politically incorrect is perfectly fine with me.
Thank you for another chance to yell at y'all.
KCK
