Rant against Pinterest

Yes. I have an account. Yes. I have done some recipes and crafts from that world. But more and more I am becoming annoyed with it.

I have a workout board. I don't workout. I want to, I just don't. I hate the shape my body has taken on lately and I am to blame. Too much beer, not enough walking and a few days of running with the kids in the yard isn't cutting it. I am still putting my thunder thighs in my designer jeans and ignoring going in public. Sure would hate for people to make fun of me like I do them.

Crafts are fun. Crafting is cheaper than buying things. I find it to raise my blood pressure and end up half-assed. I am ADD, self diagnosed for what it is worth, and I forget to finish or I see something shiny and walk off. Those women that pin things.... are they doing a majority of them? Do they really have time to make a Dollar Tree picture frame look like a designer Chevron one? Or did they really make their own rug out of some grass and paint? I doubt it. But, that will be the mystery behind the website.

I love the recipe idea. But, now I am inundated with recipes on FB. Stop people. I have a hard enough time walking away from food. I can founder on chips and dip, I can't put down a Diet Coke and I test too much of my own cooking before serving... I bloat. But, this is still my go to place for stuff. If you saw my cookbooks and printed recipes you would know I can't find a damn thing. Thanks for the board, Pinterest.

Now how about the stay organized section of this demonic site? Meal planning printables? To do list ones? Come on. Grab a damn piece of paper, save the printer ink and use your God given talent of using the English language. Or, how about the ones that show us how to make our pantry more organized? Wonderful, for a day or two then all hell breaks loose, someone else in the house- maybe a man- can't find what he wants and a bomb goes off in the pantry. Back to square one and you will never get those initial hours of time back. NEVER.

There are even people with a bash board type section. Ladies, stop. If you husband is a cheating loser, don't bore us with your dumb board. Grab your checkbook, pack your bags and find a divorce lawyer, not your friends on Pinterest. Because odds are if you are airing your dirty laundry there, you are bitching to your girlfriends and they are over it, bored and scared to answer the phone. Wonder why you leave a ton of voicemails? Hmp.

And weddings. Holy shit is this dumb. You aren't engaged, dating or otherwise in the planning mode of weddings. Stop scaring off your future suitors by pinning your wedding colors, theme, hair, photog, etc. Men aren't dumb. They know you are just waiting to drop some sperm into the mix and you don't care who it is. You are going to use that plan with Mr. A, B, C or D. Don't forget to let the ink dry before moving on to the nursery planning board.

Teaching my kids is my number 1 priority. However, I am okay with buying store bought bubbles, reading them stories from hand me down books and using Pampers diapers. I don't have any desire to find a new project every week and beat myself up if it doesn't work. I do enough beating up of thy self on a daily basis for not being totally perfect anyway. I don't need a failed gallon of non-functioning bubbles to push me over the edge.

I did get some b-day party ideas off here. I wore myself out, used all my printer ink and got paper cuts. I am 100 percent sure that Surround Sound won't remember them in a few years. But, I saved them to show off in later years. However, big parties won't roll around every year. No way, no how. I don't have the energy to make a production out of the day they were born. Maybe like say at the age of 4.... when they can remember things, tell me what they want, wipe their own asses. But, get  your glue gun out and go to town ladies. I won't feel bad when I ditch your kids parties b/c that isn't my scene. I won't feel bad when you put thousands of dollars into the production, which is only for the parents not the kids. I will however join you in a few years and eat my words. I know I will:)

What this is about is the fact that I feel inadaquate by not doing the things these Super Women are doing. Oh well, comes with the territory. I guess I should be greatful for the distraction when lunch is ready, kids are napping and most of my "work" is done for the day.

Now to finish a project. See, damn ADD kicked in again and I wrote this! HA