My last deep cleaning session for our house was in January. I am not too proud to admit it. I have a set of wild ass twins that can kill a great smelling room in a matter of one rank diaper. That is my life.
Today included some sort of work, but mostly dried out, cracked hands from scrubbing. I found these things helpful.
1- Stepped on, smooshed into the tile sweet tater only comes up with elbow grease.
2- Sweeping is a workout.
3- I will never dust again. I will only use my vacuum and the attachment. Judge me. I don't care. Try it, you will convert like me.
4- Toys can multiply and make the scariest sounds ever.
5- Cereal rolls and then gives birth to more cereal under a couch, if left unattended and without proper sex ed classes.
6- I am going to pay for a vasectomy for my hubby since I would be an annoying, grey haired mom in a matter of moments if I found a positive sign on a pregnancy test.
7- My sniffer works better now than it did while knocked up. I found a rancid wash cloth under a bed. Wonder what make and model it is.
8- My old, lime green iPod is the best companion in the world. A dog would never live up to the standards it sets.
9- Receiving the property from my mom and dad's house set me back a few notches. I never wanted antiques in my home when they lived in my for real home, Indiana. Things are sinking in and I am swimming my hardest against the current of emotions.
10- House plants must be watered. Just a word of advice.
11- If I allowed myself to feed Surround Sound only fries and nuggets, my house would be cleaner and more sanitary. I will take somewhat grungy over fat, lazy kids. Sorry people. We eat fresh.
12- My crock pot might blow up if I don't learn how to cook any other way. Tonight menu- pork loin with peppers and carrots. Starving.
13- A bathroom is only as clean as it's owner. I will admit, I leave toothpaste in the sink, makeup gunked up on the counter and random shit all around. I call it my war room.
14- A person cleaning should wear a bra. I don't care if you are male, your boobs will sweat. Since calving, I don't think the girls are where they should be or where they once were. I want to nap on them. Drool in my cleavage. Well, today I got down to business without putting the girls in the home and I regret it. Don't be me.
15- Own stock in Mr. Clean Magic Erasers before you get knocked up. I killed three today getting little grubby ass stuff off the walls. Well, I guess if I had cleaned between the New Year and April Fools I wouldn't have had such an uphill battle.
16- Hug the ones that care for your kids. Mine are in great hands, I should go get them, but I am relishing the clean house I created. Not ready to grab the duo and let it go to waste before Chingy gets home. Such is life. However, without amazing Miss Leslie I would live in total and complete squallier.
17- Work should be getting done. I am boring you. Watch the Ranch House blog for some great sites. I need to write that up. Oops.
Peace, love and pork loin for dinner! KCK
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