Playboy

If you check FB, you might have seen my silly status about Playboy's and Scotch. Well, I really am worried about a few things as we try to sell our house. When we looked at it, the occupants didn't have much in it. I have "decluttered" and paired it down a ton; excessive picture frames have been put in the attic, candles are in a closet, jewelry creation equipment successfully stowed. I don't feel like anyone lives there, but we are still more in your face than they were.

As I was reading a book on a lazy Sunday morning, I got a call from our realtor that someone wanted to look at the house that evening. Motivated to clean up, I put down the book and picked up the duster. I haven't cooked or done anything in the house since we listed it. I don't want to have to clean up again, makes sense. Case in point- the one time I made my bed in HS was when Kimberly Yoeman was coming to spend the night. I ended up sleeping on the floor so I wouldn't have to remake the bed before school. Serious. I can live on PB&J until the house sells, deal with it.

In the midst of cleaning, I wondered how deep those people look. I know we checked out the cabinet space and the realtor showed us the great pots and pans cabinet. (they slide in and out in case you are in the market for a house;) I was just hustling and bustling around until I got the mail. It was Playboy time! I got a new Playboy! Before you start judging, let me tell you that I have had a subscription to Playboy for years. It is the only magazine I continue to subscribe to. I used to get Maxim and Bender, too, but can live without them. I actually read and look at all the stuff in a Playboy. I am not a prude nor do I believe that my man will only look at me and my body without checking out another chick. Heck, I check out other men! SO, it would be a total double standard. Therefore, once a month our mailperson drops off the plastic wrapped package and I tote the mail in.

Well, now that our house is on the market I wonder if light weight porn and booze will turn potential buyers off. I am going to admit that we have the magazines in the guest bathroom and master bathroom. We like to make sure out guests at the Kinder Bed without Breakfast feel at home:) BUAAHAHA. We also had a collection of "Chisolm Chosen Classics" in the office closet, but I did stow them away in my declutter. Didn't want them blinding the people. This weekend, we even had one in the kitchen junk drawer.

Our booze collection isn't huge, but it sure is pretty. Do some people not like booze at all? How can that be? Not that they have to indulge in it, but tolerate it I guess. Just like women who think their man will never look at another naked body, blah, blah. Blow it out your ass. Let them look. Hell, take a look to motivate you. I want to pose in Playboy. Would love to be asked. Would love to get motivated to workout enough to show my natural breasts to the world. I think my husband would be okay with that. My father, not so much. Well, and Colty might get a little upset:) heehee.

As I drove off, I second guessed my life choices in a way. Will these people just not like our house, which is hard to stomach, or will they stumble upon our sins and not like us? What do you think the case is?